After the Storm

•12/02/2011 • Leave a Comment

This is taking a lot out of me to write this, but it’s a chance for me to feel vulernable. I know that this time of year is supposed to bring you happiness and joy, but that’s just not been the case this year. I’ve just been thinking a lot about things lately. I was recently asked out by a friend this week, but I reluctantly turned down the offer. A few close friends were puzzled by my decision. After the few bullshit excuses I gave them about not having enough time for friends, why should I try and squeeze in a guy. I’m happy being single. Not being okay with my own answer, I started to evaluate my own heart and the real reasons why it’s so hard for me to be willing to open up.

I’ve never had a positive role model of love in my life. I feel I’ve been destined to feel jaded and cold. The few men I’ve felt comfortable enough to open up to have completely broken me down. Broken me in every way possible mentally and physically. I don’t want to let my walls down and be ambushed by pain. I’m content in being by myself. I know I can trust myself. I’ve learned to pick myself up everytime, and I will do the same when it happens again.

I don’t know if love is real. I think there is a reason we’re born alone and die alone. I don’t want a cynical heart, it’s every little girls dream to meet her prince charming to sweep her off her feet and live happily ever after. I don’t want to live in a fairy tale either.

“And there will come a time, you’ll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.”


Iron Chef

•09/22/2011 • Leave a Comment

So, keeping up with catching up. Only have been back at school for a month now, I swear it’s killing me softly. I’ve just taken on way to much. WAY too much. Doing almost 20 units, and working 30 hrs a week. I can sleep when I’m dead. And funny thing is I don’t need to be drug induced like some people I know to manage…..

Anyways, just being at school everyday working like a dog, and then going to actual work is probably what is going to cause my early death. This isn’t just sit in a seat nicely and listen to a teacher like in Charlie Brown, (well I do have those too, but at 7am, and drinking wine with breakfast instead of OJ just isn’t my forte, yet.) I’m busting my ass here. This time around we get to do all parts of a restaurant, both working up front with guests, and still in the kitchen. I won the prize for fails, when I dropped a whole tray of drinks on one of my guests. At least I went out of the front of the house with a bang. I just wrapped up the dish washing stations. I have a new found respect. Talk about a living hell. Even with all these complaints, I still love it, and don’t know what I would be doing if I wasn’t working like a dog. I have some happier stories to, like when I was in the bakeshop, and we were making dill bread. When we asked our chef, (who is from Thailand, and has a very heavy asian accent.) “Hey, Chef Mayuree. What’s this?” “Oh Girl.” (she says that to everyone, even the boys sometimes) ” THAT’S DILL DOUGH!” Good times, good times.

First wedding cake, not too shabby

So, on top of my crazy schedule I decided to do something that I would enjoy, and could be my new hobby. I started taking bass lessons. This all started when I did one of my impulsive purchases a couple years ago and bought myself a bass. It’s just been collecting dust, so I asked a coworker to give me lessons. I’m becoming pretty awesome at it, the next Duff McKagan. That’s pretty much it, caught you up in one hot second.

I Wanna See Your Peacock

•09/22/2011 • Leave a Comment

I had an amazing summer, busy, but good times. Since I haven’t written anything in a long time I decided to rewind and catch up on the good stuff.

So, I went to the Katy Perry concert almost 2 months ago when she was in town. Being her hometown and all, it was a pretty rad show. I had pit tickets, so you know it was gonna go down. First the craziness started with my extra ticket. That sucker got passed around to 4 different people, until a dear family friend decided to go with me. We got there and met up with some other friends, we were hanging out watching the opening band. Right before Katy was going to come out my friend looked at me and said she wasn’t feeling well and needed to go to the bathroom. I was just asking her if she wanted me to go with her so she didn’t have to fight the crowds alone coming back, when her eyes rolled back and she started falling. Within seconds she was on the ground and woke up and asked if she passed out. I started trying to clear the area and getting security. We got her out of there. No more details, basically one of the more scarier things that I’ve seen. She had low blood pressure. Unfortunately she went to the ER, but she strongly wanted me to stay at the concert, and to come pick her up afterward since there wasn’t much I could do. I felt horrible and guilty. Going back into the pit though to meet back up with my other friends, there was a large, rowdy, drunk group right before my friends and they wouldn’t let me through. I was already an emotional wreck seeing what just happened, and was in no mood for bullshit. They wouldn’t let me by and being so rude, I started throwing it out. Telling them to move or I’d bust a move. Thank gatos my friends heard this almost fight and pulled me in, or I think I would have ended up in the ER myself. Pretty much an epic night. My friend recovered well, I still feel bad for what happened, but now has made for a good story. And we shall look back and laugh, like I always do!!!

Circle the Drain

•09/04/2011 • 3 Comments

Katy sang it perfectly. What loser asks to take a girl out, but then shows up with his friend driving because your too high to function. What a joke. I kind of wished it was, but this was the real deal. Too bad this dude is in love with his drugs too much to care about anything else. I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m just a tad livid. I’m a busy person. Why are you wasting my time, being so messed up you won’t even remember the hour dinner we had with you and your buddy. I showed up looking like the idiot, looking hot thinking it was a real date. Evidently my judgement is wrong. I thought this guy had potential, but I guess people never change. I’ve always like the bad boys who would walk all over me and treat me like dirt, but this is a new low. I at least got a free meal out of this bullshit. 

B-Boys Makin’ With the Freak Freak

•07/30/2011 • Leave a Comment

Dang nabbit. I’m starting to lose followers on this open diary. I swear to you I have so many drafts that I was writing, but I just lost my train of thought and never found it. So, why don’t we just accumulate them and update on my recent shenanigans. Problem is I’m not sure what really has happened in the last month. Actually I do, why don’t I start with me going a little insane….insanity that is. Insanity is something I would call my personal hell. Sean T is whipping my hiney into shape. If you haven’t heard of it look it up. You just can’t describe it. I still have a beer gut though, so I don’t know what’s the deal here. That’s why I started taking a little Zumba for my boomba. . And I’m also taking that with a little belly dancing too. Everyone knows what that is. I’m just waiting to see the results.

I also got my thrill in for the month. I took a little trip to the grossest amusement park on earth. Six Flags. It was fun especially when I was blacking out on all the rides. I have a video proof, but that’s for another day. Mainly though, I’ve just been working my arse off. I’m rolling in the dough, don’t get it mixed, but sheesh, throw me a bone. Or at least a BMDub. I test drove one of those bad boys yesterday. I heard it calling my sweet name…..if my name was Rosanna.

My family just left literally an hour ago, I swear to you I’m going to never have children. Love my family, just hate the noise. They are a perfect example of how I became a Hot MessTM.

Ummmm well that was my month in a spurt. There is always more to come.

If you find the connection, I'll give you a nickel.

Bad Teacher

•07/06/2011 • 2 Comments


This looks like a role model to me....

Yesterday I had a date, with myself. Best thing ever. I really don’t like being around people a lot. Doing things hans solo is lovely, I know I don’t have to be such a dependent person. Anyways, to my actual thought that created this post. I went and saw the movie, “Bad Teacher.” It seemed to hit home more than I thought. I’ll give you a little synopsis so you’ll understand where I’m coming from. So this gold digging chick is engaged to this rich guy, but then he dumps her so she goes to teaching so she can afford a boob job. She is probably the worst teacher you’ll ever see. Pegging kids in the face with a ball, showing movies all day, smoking weed in the gym, and coming in hung over. She is also competing with the perfect teacher at school for the heart of the hot and rich substitute teacher. Anyways, she lies, cheats, and steals for the annual bonus to get the last bit of money for her new hooters. I’m not saying these comparisons are exact, but I’m not going to say what parts are true either. I’ll leave it up to your imagination.

So, today while I was at work doing this little kiddie festival I was doing my job by watching the bounce house and making sure the kids were behaving. I was kicking it on the jumper, right on the little ledge, every time the kids jumped they freakin rocked me Amadeus too. It was the only place out of the sun. I was just kicking it there peacefully with my sunglasses on, my american flag pin wheel, and chowing on a burger, when this bratty little kid comes up to me, I thought he wanted a turn in the bounce house, but he bluntly asked me…..

“Are you drunk?”

“Uhhhh….no are you?”


“Well, God Bless America then…..”

I love children.

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

•06/21/2011 • Leave a Comment

So……Granny moved in this past weekend. I should just leave it at that, but I’ll continue. Anyways, it has been a thought about decision for a while now, but once it was an idea it was a fast pace move to get her up to SB from LA. Bless her little heart, but her mental health has been declining quite quickly lately, or at least a lot more noticeable in the recent months. We thought it was unfit for her to live alone anymore, but financially she couldn’t afford a caregiver or an old folks home. So, here we are. Basically I’ve been telling people I volunteer at a retirement home and they give me free room and board. Nice right? Just make sure everyone gets their meds, especially me….I’m about to go crazy.

A simple conversation with my grandma about how her newly bought $1,300 hearing aid broke, that should have only taken 3 minutes turned into a 15 minute convo. Then she woke me up the next morning at 5am asking me where the sugar was because she was hungry, then 5 minutes later I heard her going into my parents room asking if my mom wanted any coffee. I couldn’t take it so I got up to go to the gym. Now as I’m writing this she’s in my room talking to me about my tv and poking around at my stuff. Oh my gatos….I know I’m supposed to respect elders and all, but this is too much. I thought I was saving up money this summer for a new car, but I guess I could still be saving up for that car, only I’m gonna be living in that car.

She is good for some humor. Besides the ordinary old people quirky behavior humor, she’s still a little spitfire. Last night after I got home from work I was making dinner and she came in casually talking to me. After awhile of chatting she finally said she was going to go make a phone call to a friend and then start her nightly routine of getting ready for bed. I asked what that might be, semi afraid of the answer, which she replied.

“Oh just brush my teeth, put my make-up on, do my exercises.”

“What? why would you put make-up on grandma?”

“Just in case a Peeping Tom decides to break in and violate me I wanna look nice.”

“ummm……… serious??”(is that even appropriate to say?)

“I’m just kidding!!!!”

I guess we now know where I get my crudeness and sarcasm from……

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